Your man, when he cheats…

21 Mar

I had my day planned today. I LIKE planning my day. I’m autistic so I get this happy little squee of delight when I see a nicely organized To Do list with everything neatly categorized and ordered by priority.

Then SHE called.

She was so sure it was me. That her husband / boyfriend / fwb was sexting over Facebook that the Kristine Pratt that she saw in the chat column just HAD to be me.

She did the logical thing I’m supposing, starting with a search for Kristine Pratt on Facebook. I’m usually the first one people get pointed to, or at least in the top results. I have 3,500 friends, I’m very active, visible. So of course, to her thinking, it was me.

She did her homework. She INVESTIGATED me, a word that means much the same thing “stalking” does but with justification for bad behavior added in. After all, I’m the ‘Other Woman’ and that gives her the right to find my home phone number or middle name.

Which then led to the phone calls, one of which I finally answered, ready to tell the telemarketer on the other end (because I don’t know anyone in California anyway, the reason why I hadn’t been answering these calls to begin with) to bug off. Nicely of course.

Except she threw me a curve.

“I know you’re married so of course you’re going to deny everything…”

Excuse me?

What ensued was a bizarre phone conversation where the tale came tumbling forth. I could hear her trembling over the phone. Breathy and insistant, wanting so much to get answers I could not provide. Because, of course, I’d never heard of this guy before in my life and had no idea what she was talking about.

So in short she had the wrong Kristine Pratt.

There’s a lot of us out there. There’s a newscaster somewhere, and an athlete, and a lawyer and bunch of others I’m sure. In one town we lived in, there was another Kristine Pratt who went to the same used bookstore I did and used up all my credit I had on file before we discovered the mistake of there being two of us.

It’s a common name.

And a common story.

By the end of the phone call, I was upset right alongside of her. “What can I do to help you right now?” I asked. “Can I pray for you? I’d like to pray for you.”

The wind was clearly out of her sails. I’m not sure if she was convinced ever that it wasn’t me that she was looking for. But what could she say? I wasn’t giving her what she wanted, and honestly the mention of God seemed to throw her a curve she couldn’t recover from. She instead hung up.

So what was there left for me to do? I was rattled. Not just annoyed that she had so much personal information about me, but that she’d gone through such lengths to get it. This was a woman scorned, and her anger was directed (wrongfully) at me. I honestly was frightened enough by the experience to contact a friend I have in the FBI and ask their advice.

“Just stay hyper-vigilent and be careful.”

Not what I wanted to hear.

Needless to say, I wasn’t a happy camper today.

I don’t like what this did to my day, what it did to me. But more than that, I don’t like what this kind of thing is doing to that angry yet oh-so-frightened voice on the other end of that phone call.

Now that I’ve had time to think, I wish that the frantic girlfriend/wife/lover would hear these words right now:

You’re going about this all wrong. Much as you want answers from Kristine Pratt, you need to get them from him. Making the ‘other woman’ go away isn’t going to make the problem that led to the ‘other woman’ go away. Talk to a counselor or member of the clergy or someone who specializes in helping women in bad relationships. Get safe. Get happy. Don’t let anyone take those things from you.

And to you, Jesse whatever-your-lastname-is who is cheating on your woman with some OTHER Kristine Pratt:

Grow up. Grow a pair. If you don’t want to be in that relationship be man enough to say so.  If you do, then what the heck do you think you’re doing sexting some other woman? You can’t have it both ways.

I’ve got enough things to derail my day for me on a regular basis. I don’t need this kind of drama on top of that.

So dear readers: What advice would you give anonymous phone caller if it were you who’d gotten that call?

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2 Responses to “Your man, when he cheats…”

  1. Marlene Banks March 21, 2013 at 8:54 pm #

    Okay, first of all this could be a very dangerous situation. I watch Criminal Minds so pardon me if I’m a little paranoid about this kind of stuff. Acutally I had a similar situation about 30 years ago. People weren’t so psycho back then but even then it made me feel uneasy. What would I do in the year 2013? Try to convince her I was the wrong Kristine Pratt. If successful I’d try to tell her what she needs to hear and doesn’t want to…woman to woman. Highlighting of course that HE is a creep and she’s degrading herself by harassing other women on account of him. And yes, I would suggest therapy of some kind because girlfriend has issues. Oh, I would try to get some info about her just incase she’s homicidal. I know, too much Criminal Minds.

    • Kristine Pratt March 21, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

      Agreed. That’s why I contacted my friend at the FBI and gave them all the information that I have. I certainly don’t want to get caught up in something nasty. (I read way too many mystery novels, so my mind went there too…)

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